Woman jokes

We guys have to be very careful about woman jokes. It’s all very well gazing on a hornet’s nest, but prodding it with a big stick is not recommended.

What do tornadoes and women have in common? When they come they're wild and wet, but when they go they take your house and car with them.

Why is it that a single woman doesn’t fart? She doesn’t get an arse until she’s married.

What’s the difference between single women and married women? Single women look in the fridge then go to bed. Married women look in the bed then go to the fridge.

Why are women more intelligent than men? Diamonds are a girl’s best friend, man’s best friend is a dog.

When God created man she was only joking.

Three wise women instead of three wise men? They would have asked directions, arrived on time, helped deliver the baby, cleaned out the stable, and brought sensible gifts.

And when they left, they would have said: ‘That baby doesn’t look anything like Joseph.’

And ‘Virgin my arse. I knew her in school.’

And ‘Can you believe they let all those disgusting animals in the stable?’

Why did God create woman? Because she took one look at Adam and thought, ‘Nah, I can do beter than that.'

Aliens in spaceship orbiting the earth. One asks the other, ‘Well, what do you think? Is there intelligent life on earth?’ The other replies ‘I like the ones with the brains, shame about the ones with the balls.’

Think you can do better? Go for it!!

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