What men want - beyond sex

What men want is sex. So now that we have sorted out the sex, let’s get down to business. If you haven’t seen the page about sex, it is here Sex is like money, it is only important when you don’t have any. Once sex is sorted out in a relationship, the female of the species can really find out what men want. You probably weren’t surprised that I wrote about sex first, but some of the things on this page may surprise you. Most of the articles I have seen on the Internet about what men really want , seem to be written by ladies who are trying to tell men what they think men SHOULD want. But that is The Battle of the Sexes for you. Hear it now from a man – but be warned, ladies, you might not like what you read.

First, another surprise. Of course we men want sex, but we want that sex with somebody we love, as part of an affectionate, loving relationship. We want our lady to be our best friend, our soulmate. Women have lots of friends, but men tend to have acquaintances rather than real friends. We want a lady who is our best friend. We want a lady we can laugh and cry with, relax with, be totally comfortable with, have fun with, a lady who will be there for us when we need her.

What men want (and ladies you will not like this bit) is a lady to talk less. Please remember, ladies, that listening is a difficult skill for us poor downtrodden inferior males to acquire, and you need to help us by talking less, saying what you mean rather than using indirect speech and beating around the bush, and saying it simply in as few words as possible. Help men to listen, and please remember that communication in marriage, or in any relationship, is a two-way street. If you want us men to understand you, keep it simple sweetheart (KISS). The importance of communication is lost if you speak to men the same way you speak to your girlfriends. Get this one wrong and you create barriers to listening. Your man stops listening at all, and enormous problems start springing up everywhere.

Problems will also crop up if you start NAGGING your man. You can’t expect him to treat you like a thoroughbred if you keep acting like a nag. Nagging is breaking the cardinal rule in your relationship – thou shalt not disrespect thy man. Nagging is negative, it drains the energy from the nagger and her man, and very soon it drains the energy from the relationship.

Come on ladies, you are superior to us men. Show it by getting your own way NICELY, by using your feminine wiles, by flirting with your man, by rewarding him when he does good, by working together as a TEAM to achieve common goals, by respecting him. Asking your man to put out the rubbish is treating him like a servant, it is disrespectful. But working together with him to keep your home in tip-top condition gives him pride in his work, and thanking him with a kiss and a blow-job makes putting out the rubbish a delicious type of foreplay, and makes him an equal partner in a successful team. The difference is merely in how you ask. Which approach do you suppose will be more successful?

What men want in a lady is some vulnerability. This is where the super-confident, successful lady is likely to miss out. We men need to think that we are useful to you, that you need our help. We want to be the proverbial knight on his white charger, rushing to your aid and rescuing the damsel in distress. Do you want your man to pay you more attention? Ask for his help. Speaking personally, there is nothing I love more than helping a lady. Perhaps giving her a lift, or carrying her shopping, or helping her out with a business problem. Ladies, however independent, confident and strong-willed you are, it pays to look as if you need our help, and asking us to help you will go a long way towards cementing your relationship.

Men want to be PROUD of their lady. Having a lady on your arm at a social function, or when you go to a restaurant, is a source of great pride to a man. Please reciprocate by being the best YOU you can be, making an effort with your appearance, and showing that you are proud of your man in return. Take pride in each other, so that you become a better person by knowing him, and he becomes a better person by knowing you. Be a lady, be feminine, be attractive in your PERSONALITY rather than your looks. Show a sense of humour, be sexy, be captivating, be easy to be around. Give men what men want, and you get what you want in return.

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