What makes women want sex is one of the great questions for us poor downtrodden sub-human specimens otherwise known as men. Let me clarify: I am not talking here about what happens once you are in a relationship. There is plenty about that topic elsewhere on The Battle of the Sexes (I’ll give you a clue: intimacy, communication, active listening and all that crap). This is about meeting a new lady and ending up in bed with her. Seduction, one might call it, or closing the deal. I am not sure I know the answer after nearly forty years of studying this subject. More often than not in that period, I have been found wanting. Even as a Sex God and the greatest lover since Casanova, I still make mistakes.
But on the other hand I have learnt a thing or two about the female of the species, and I have ended up in bed with a lot of them, and this article, without wishing to boast too much, is about how I did it.
I realised early on that one of the best aphrodisiacs is a sense of humour. What makes women want sex is a good laugh. I have frequently found that if you can make a lady laugh, you are halfway there. ‘Cocky and funny’ it is called by the community of pick-up artists. Funny isn’t enough on its own. Cocky isn’t enough on its own. But when you combine the two in a way that teases her, gently pulls her leg, gently pulls her down a peg or two (without being arrogant or a jerk), and shows that YOU ARE NOT LIKE ALL THE OTHER MEN, you are definitely stacking the odds in your favour. I won’t go into detail here, that is the subject of another page.
The key to what makes women want sex is YOU ARE NOT LIKE ALL THE OTHER MEN. What do other men do? They use chat-up lines, they chase women, they generally make fools of themselves (sorry guys, do you recognise yourself?). They buy dinner, they are nice, they make it obvious that they are DESPERATE.I’m sorry, but desperate isn’t what makes women want sex.
What do women do in the face of all this attention? They play hard to get. They are choosy. They have lots of men chasing them, so they have options. The ladies do not act as if they are desperate to chase a man, because they aren’t.
Have you ever waited in a bar or a restaurant for your date to turn up? If she is ten minutes late, you phone her to ask where she is. She tells you she is on her way. Then twenty minutes later when she still hasn’t turned up you phone her again. She tells you she is on her way. Then an hour later you ring her again. She tells you she is on her way. How desperate does a man sound when he does that? There is an old proverb which tells us, ‘Don’t keep all your eggs in one basket.’ Don’t rely on one woman to be your date tonight.
I did this a few times myself, then I decided to let the ladies chase me. Then, when my date was ten minutes late, I would phone her and tell her I was terribly sorry, I couldn’t make it (without explaining why). Then I would phone another potential date. Then another. Then another. The secret is always to have options. And then the ladies start chasing you. That is because they have never had to chase a man in their life, and they are intrigued. The secret as a man is NOT TO CARE about the results of each encounter. Just play the numbers game, relax with the process and have fun, be confident, and instead of wondering whether you are good enough to be with a certain lady, adopt the attitude that they have to do and be something special to get your attention.
A couple of years ago, I split up from a long-term girlfriend. I knew what I had to do, and went out and started meeting new ladies, both in person and on the Internet. After about a month I had plenty of ammunition and sent emails to six different ladies, telling them that they weren’t paying me enough attention and that they needed to up their game. I cc’d them all on the emails so that they could see I wasn’t bluffing. Four of them I never heard from again (their loss). One rang me up within minutes and was in my bed within the hour. The sixth phoned me about a month later and is now my girlfriend. But the point is this: even if none of them had replied, I could have sent the same email to another six the next day, and the day after that. I just relaxed and allowed the cream to rise to the top.
What makes women want sex? The fact that you have options and aren’t desperate.