Changed his Forum Profile - Oh so Sweet :-))
My partner began a relationship with a woman (a very old woman - a year older than me at least) he met on a forum for canal boat owners. Quite a small and intimate forum where people often end up meeting in real life because of the narrowness of the canals :-)
I thought he was retreating to his boat/cave to rewire the electrics, but in fact he was spending weekends in the luxury of her mansion, with hot tub and indoor swimming pool - a far cry from our little bungalow high on the moors.
Of course once he'd been caught out he became even more devious and furtive, and I just couldn't seem to get the better of him in an argument. Actually, apart from a verbal bashing, I would very much have liked to give him a good kicking in the head - the one between his legs.....
Being a man, he had a very high opinion of himself and his profile on the canal boat forum reflected this. Soooo....... I found his login details and changed everything:-
Occupation - shagging said woman
Hobbies - lying, drug taking, stealing from other peoples boats
In a relationship - Yes, with ...........
Additional info - "I'm desperate for sex with as many women as possible before I die - I'm 75, but look younger,(he's not he's much younger). Contact me by phone xxxxxxxxx
Then I added a nice picture of him on his boat so there could be no mistaking him.
Then I made a post in his name telling everyone what a good lay said woman is and suggesting they have a go too, describing her various physical attributes and giving her phone number.
Most activity on the forum used to happen early in the morning, and he's a lazy devil so I guessed it would be noticed long before he was even awake in the morning.
The results were spectacular a couple of hundred views and lots of replies to the post!! Then the phone rang at home .....it was her, she had seen it - Oh Yipeee, joy and happiness filled my heart - she was upset!! left a message on his phone while he still slept like a baby.
Then before he woke up I changed everything back to normal and deleted the thread. So when he got round to speaking with her it was all gone - she was of course totally crazy, demented, deranged, and he poor soul was bemused, confused, grovelling, squirming - Me, I was reveling in the chaos, smiling benignly over my coffee, loving every minute.