Trunk Call

'Why do women fake orgasms? Because men fake foreplay.'

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A man goes to the doctor’s. He is having problems getting an erection. The doctor examines him and then tells the man that he has some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that the muscles in his penis have been destroyed by a viral infection. The good news is that there is an experimental treatment which has been working wonders for this problem. It involves transplanting tissue from an elephant’s trunk into the man’s penis.

The man is told to go away and think very carefully before he agrees to an operation of this kind. Not enough research has yet been done to know if there are any long term problems associated with the operation. But the man thinks of what his life would be like if he could never have sex again, and decides to go ahead. The operation is a complete success.

Encouraged by the fact that everything is now working nicely, the man finds himself a new girlfriend. He takes her to the most expensive restaurant in town. During dinner he finds himself being more and more turned on at the thought of what is going to happen after dinner, until his penis is very hard and throbbing painfully. He is so desperate that he has to unzip himself and let the offending object get some air. He hopes his girlfriend hasn’t noticed his discomfiture, but then suddenly his penis rears up over the table, grabs a bread roll, then returns to his pants.

Of course the girl has never seen anything like this. She is shocked at first, but then smiles and looks at him. ‘That was amazing. Can you do it again?’ The man looks at her, his eyes watering. ‘I think so,’ he says, ‘but I’m not sure I can fit another bread roll up my arse.’

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Of course I am a modern man and do my fair share of the work in a relationship. I have even been known to iron my own shirts and clean up the kids' vomit on occasion, but things have now gone too far. Men are doing too much work, as this article in the Daily Mail proves Sharing chores

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