Tips for women

'I misunderstood a stage direction: Enter Juliette from rear.' Out-of-work actor

Thank you for subscribing to The Battle of the Sexes Newsletter, in conjunction with my website

If you don’t want men to fart, don’t feed us vegetables. You look at your body far more than we do. If you think your arse is big, it is. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. Sunday is sports day. Just accept it. You have too many shoes. Your brother is an idiot, your ex-boyfriend is a twat and your Dad probably is too. Say what you mean. Subtle doesn’t work....

A headache that lasts for 17 months is not an excuse to avoid sex. Check your oil. It is an essential part of the car. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and we get it wrong, it is YOUR fault. Talk during commercials, not at other times. When we are in bed and look tired this means that we are tired and does not mean that we are having an affair with your best friend. If you want some dessert after a meal - order some. You don't have to finish it. You can just taste it if you like but don't say "No, I don't want any" and then eat half of ours. Just because YOU are dieting doesn’t mean we have to. Do not question our sense of direction. Never make fun of our toys, our ego, our penis. Let us have sex whenever we want it. Give us a blow-job once a week. If you don’t we will find somebody who will. If it is your sister, your husband will soon be your brother-in-law. Be nice to us. ‘Treat them mean to keep them keen’ does not work. ‘The Rules’ are wrong. Laugh with us, cry with us, spend time with us, love us, and we will love you back. Talk less.

---------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------

Returning to the theme of New Year's resolutions, who do I think I am kidding? Of course we all know that we men know nothing. So naturally we should defer to a website entitled See what the ladies tell us... More Sex Resolutions

------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------

The next edition of this newsletter will be sent to you in two weeks' time.

Previous editions of this newsletter are available at Newsletter back-issues

New pages since the last newsletter:

Wedding Jokes
Revenge Sex
My name is Charles Evans, I can be contacted at
Before you contact me for the first time, you need to whitelist your e-mail address to get through the spam filters. You can do that by going to and inserting your email address and mine. Alternatively, you can use the contact form on my About Me page
The Greatest Lover since Casanova

There is now a free download available of Michael Webb's 101 Romantic Ideas. New subscribers receive the download link in the Thank You email for subscribing. If you wish to download this free e-book, please email me and I will give you the link.