Shopping for Husbands

'Why can't men cook pancakes? Because they are useless tossers.'

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A shop that sells husbands has just opened here in Milton Keynes. The shop is on six floors, and the men get better from floor to floor. Just one catch. Once you’ve moved up a floor, you can’t choose a man from a lower floor.

My mother was in Milton Keynes at Christmas. She went shopping to find a new husband (my father died 13 years ago). On the first floor the sign on the door was: These men have jobs.

My mother thought she could do better than that, so she went up to the second floor. Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids. My mother is not easy to please, so she went upstairs. Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking.

"Hmmm, better" she thought. "But I wonder what's upstairs?" Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and do all the housework. My mother thought, "Mmmm, not bad. But I can do better if I go upstairs."

Floor 5 - These men are independently wealthy, love kids, are extremely good looking, have servants to do all the cooking and housework, and love taking their lady on romantic holidays to Rome and Paris.

By now my mother was quite impressed. "But just think. What must be waiting for me on the top floor?" So up to the sixth floor she went.

The sixth floor sign read:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 1,438,753,245 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.

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With the female of the species being so hard to please, is it any wonder that there are now millions of Lonely Heart Ads in newspapers, magazines, and especially on the Internet. You would think that lonely hearts ads would be a relatively new invention, but according to The Daily Mail the oldest lonely heart ad can be traced back to 1695. I found this article fascinating. lonely hearts

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