"I'm glad I'm not bisexual. I couldn't stand being rejected by men as well as women."
Bernard Manning, British comedian.
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We live in a time of political correctness. I hope it will end soon and we can go back to telling racist jokes. The fact that I like racist jokes does not mean I am racist. I have friends of many nationalities. I have made love to English, Welsh, Irish, Scottish, Indian, Pakistani, Chinese, Brazilian, Korean, and ladies from many other nationalities. I don’t care what colour they are, what shape they are. I care about their personalities and their bodies.
Whatever happened to jokes like ‘An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman…’? A friend of mine used to be very friendly with a Pakistani who ran a restaurant in Manchester. He would go there to eat and greet his friend with ‘Hi there, you Paki bastard!!’ The man would reply with ‘Welcome, you bloody English pig!!’.
Sexual equality is part of this political correctness gone mad. Men and women are not and never will be equal. Women in general are paid less than men. (Probably because a woman’s work is never done. If you ladies ever finished a job you might get a decent wage for it.). But that doesn’t matter because the female of the species will always win the battle of the sexes. Women paid less than men? Another old joke tells me that women own ten per cent of the wealth on this planet, but it doesn’t matter because they have access to the other 90%. Women and men are not created equal. The battle of the sexes simply isn’t fair. As long as men want sex and women can withhold it life will never be fair.
Sexual equality? The feminists go on about women’s struggle to be equal to men, but they don’t seem to know (or at least they do not want to acknowledge) that they are vastly superior to us poor downtrodden men in so many ways. It takes me all my time to do one thing at once, and multitasking is a foreign country. When I clean my apartment, I do one thing at once. When my girlfriend used to do any cleaning, she did it in a tenth of the time it took me, because she simultaneously fed the children, cleaned the bathroom, put three loads of washing in the washing machine, gave me a blowjob so I wouldn’t feel too neglected, ironed the clothes, put the cat out, answered the door, spent my money, and then looked at me as if I was an amoeba. That is what I call multitasking. We poor mortal men can’t do that.
Sexual equality? I wish. Men speak a language fairly well, but we can’t communicate. Women don’t seem to speak any language as far as I can discern, but they are masters (mistresses?) of communication. We men have to develop powers of clairvoyancy and mindreading before we can hope to communicate with a female on an even footing. You females just have to look at each other and you know what each other is thinking. I’m not sure we men think at all.
Sexual equality may happen some day, if we are very unlucky, but until that day I will celebrate the fact that men and women are DIFFERENT, and I will enjoy those differences until my dying day. That may not be too far away, if the screaming hordes of rampant females ever find out where I live……Too many of them seem willing or even anxious to hit me over the head with a blunt object. Can’t imagine why.
I am an Englishman, and proud of it. Sometimes I wonder if life would be better on the other side of the 'Pond', but then I read articles like this and I am confirmed in my Englishness. What on earth are you Americans thinking of?
No sex please, we're American
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