Roller Skates

'A man is like a deck of cards. You need a heart to love him, a diamond to marry him, a club to kill him, a spade to bury him.'

Thank you for subscribing to The Battle of the Sexes Newsletter, in conjunction with my website

Three men were queueing at the Pearly Gates, waiting for St Peter to admit them into Heaven. St Peter cast his eye upon the first man and asked him: ‘Have you been a good man?’ The man replied, ‘Yes. I have led a truly blamefree life, always helping out with charities and worthwhile causes, and I have never ever been unfaithful to my wife.’ St Peter approves of him and gives him a gleaming new Rolls Royce to transport him around Heaven. ‘This is a big place, you know. You’re going to need this car.’

Then St Peter talks to the second man. ‘And you, my man, have you led a blamefree life?’ ‘Well, I must admit I’m nowhere near as good as that guy you just gave the Rolls to. But I’ve worked hard all my life, and only ever been unfaithful to my wife once.’ ‘Mmm,’ St Peter replies, I obviously can’t give you a Rolls, but there’s a nice little Ford Fiesta here. Take it and enjoy yourself.’

St Peter asks the third man the same question. The man lies, telling St Peter he is at least as good as the first man, and fully deserves his own Rolls Royce. ‘Mmm,’ St Peter says. ‘I’m sorry, but I know all the sins of every man who comes to these heavenly Gates. You have been unfaithful to your wife at every opportunity. The best I can offer you is this bicycle.’

And so the three men go on their way, allowed into Heaven for all eternity. A few weeks later, the man with the bicycle comes across the men with the Fiesta and the Rolls Royce. The man with the Fiesta is quite happy, but the one with the Rolls is sobbing uncontrollably. ‘What on earth is wrong with you?’ he asks. You led a perfect life and now you have the perfect car. You should be deliriously happy.’

‘And so I was for the first couple of weeks. But then I saw my wife zoom past on roller skates.’

---------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------

We seem to live in an age where sex is easy and love is hard. In fact, the sex frequently comes first in a relationship before we have a chance to develop meaningful feelings for a partner. It wasn't always so. Less than fifty years ago, the love almost always came before the sex. and sex was only the culmination of our feelings for one another. This article from the Daily Mail considers sex and love in those long-past times. Love before sex

------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------

The next edition of this newsletter will be sent to you in two weeks' time.

Previous editions of this newsletter are available at Newsletter back-issues

New pages since the last newsletter:

Wedding Jokes
Improving Listening Skills
My name is Charles Evans, I can be contacted at
Before you contact me for the first time, you need to whitelist your e-mail address to get through the spam filters. You can do that by going to and inserting your email address and mine. Alternatively, you can use the contact form on my About Me page
The Greatest Lover since Casanova

There is now a free download available of Michael Webb's 101 Romantic Ideas. New subscribers receive the download link in the Thank You email for subscribing. If you wish to download this free e-book, please email me and I will give you the link.