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'What do you call a man with half a brain? Gifted.'

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Man wanders home from the pub after a good night out. He has had quite a bit to drink, and he is feeling amorous. He just about manages to find the bedroom, and wakes his wife up when he falls over the bed. Finally he manages to get into bed. He is determined to give his wife a good time.

With all the love he can muster, he kisses his wife gently on the forehead. There is no reaction, so he does it again. Still no reaction. Then he kisses her lovingly on her lips, gently probing her mouth with his tongue. She doesn’t stir. Not to be outdone, he strokes and caresses her neck before kissing her from the neck down to her breasts. He lands one kiss on each nipple. He is doing really well with this foreplay thing.

Now he lets his mouth wander further down her body, gently kissing every part of her torso down to her navel. He is really excelling himself, making love to his wife’s body as never before. But still there is no reaction.

Then he goes further down until his mouth is gently caressing the inside of her thigh, just above her knee. Suddenly she sits up, bolt upright in the bed, and screams at him: ‘You bastard. If it were a pub you wouldn’t have missed it.’

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Ten things a man knows about women.
10. They have boobs.

The battle of the sexes gets everywhere. It seems that after sex and money, one of the major bones of contention in a relationship is space. How many times has a man moved into his girlfriend's home only to find that the storage space for his clothes, CDs, computer, furniture, and porn collection consists of half a drawer. Ikea have taken advantage of this sad state of affairs in their new ad campaign: Ikea and The Battle of the Sexes

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New pages since the last newsletter:

Anonymous Revenge
How to seduce a woman
My name is Charles Evans, I can be contacted at
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The Greatest Lover since Casanova

There is now a free download available of Michael Webb's 101 Romantic Ideas. New subscribers receive the download link in the Thank You email for subscribing. If you wish to download this free e-book, please email me and I will give you the link.