Garden of Eden

'How many women with PMT does it take to change a lightbulb? What a stupid f***ing question. Only a man could ask that.'

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Once upon a time, a very long time ago, there was a garden. And in this garden there sat a lady, and her name was Eve, and Eve was bored. And Eve requested audience of God, and God was bountiful and heard Eve and asked Eve, 'What is the matter my daughter?'

And Eve spake thus. 'O my Lord, o bountiful One, I am bored. I know that you created me in your own image and gave me this beautiful garden to play in. And Lord you created all the animals in the garden. You created this paradise on Earth. And you created the beast and the fowl, and this sexy little serpent. And you created the tree of knowledge and the fruit thereof. But Lord, the fruit of the tree of knowledge looks and tastes just like an apple, and Lord I am verily sick of eating apples and gazing on the serpent. O my Lord forgive me, but I am bored. There must be more to life than this.'

And the Lord gazed upon Eve and took pity on her. 'Eve, my daughter, I understand. In fact I was thinking myself that we could make some improvements to Paradise. So I have created a man to keep you company.'

'O most bountiful Lord, how can I ever thank you? But what exactly is a man?'

'Now don’t laugh my daughter Eve. A man is a very flawed creature, but it does have some uses. It is very like you, but it has a penis, and with this penis it can make love to you and make you feel good and create children. But it will be aggressive. It won’t be able to listen to you, it won’t talk about its feelings, it won’t be able to empathise with you. But it will be able to do things you can’t, like build fires and hunt game and fart like a hog.'

'O most bountiful Lord, that sounds great.'

'Well I must say that with all its faults I haven’t done too bad a job creating a man. There’s just one catch though. In return for this wondrous object you must promise me something o my daughter.'

'O Lord what is that?'

'It has a fragile ego. It must never know that I created you first my daughter. That must remain a secret between us ladies.'

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Considering how weird sex is, it is hardly surprising that so many people tell you what is good and what is bad and what you should do and what you shouldn't do. This even extends to the laws we have to obey, and that includes laws about sex. Sex Laws

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Wedding Jokes
Revenge Sex
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