Female taxi drivers

'How do you confuse a man? You don't, They're just born that way.'

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There’s nothing wrong with female taxi drivers, as a species. I frequently crawl into a taxi when leaving the pub, and I have the greatest admiration for the female taxi drivers who put up with my drunken advances. It is sad but true that after about seventeen pints of bitter I cease to be a Sex God and the greatest lover since Casanova.

But this isn’t about me, it’s about my mate John. John likes a drink or two. On Friday nights, he walks to the pub in his local village, and later he staggers home from the pub. For some odd reason it takes him longer to walk home than it does to get there. One Friday night a couple of months ago, it took him rather longer than usual.

As John told me, he started walking home about midnight. The next thing he knew, it was about six in the morning and getting light. He realised that he had been walking in entirely the wrong direction and was now seven miles from home instead of one. Of course, enough was enough. He decided to get a taxi. Now, it just happened that he was now in the centre of Milton Keynes, quite close to a taxi rank, but he had no money on him and no credit cards. Not to worry, he was sure that the taxi driver would understand his predicament and take pity on him, especially when he saw that the only taxi was being driven by a female. He has a way with the females, he explained to me.

Unfortunately, the lady concerned did not take pity on him, and told him moreover that no taxi would take him home when he had no money on him. So he ended up walking home, and it took him another two hours to get there. He fell into bed totally exhausted and couldn’t walk for a couple of days. He was not amused. Fortunately, he found a way to exact revenge on the f***g bitch (his words, not mine) who had done this to him.

He was waiting for a taxi a couple of weeks later when he realised that the lady in question was in her taxi at the end of the queue. He asked the first taxi driver if he could have a blow-job for an extra five pounds. Of course the cabbie swore at him. He asked the next seven cab drivers the same thing. They all swore at him. Then he got to the lady cabbie’s taxi. He asked her how much it was to take him home, but didn’t say anything about a blow-job. Of course she accepted the fare and he got in. As they drove past the long line of cabs, my friend John gave a huge smile to all the drivers and gave them two thumbs-up.

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Do any of you remember Christine Keeler? In the Sixties she was one of the great sex symbols, with a pose that made her famous. She also ended the career of a Cabinet Minister and almost brought down a government. This is her fifty years later. Christine Keeler

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Wedding Jokes
Revenge Sex
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