Engagement Rings

'Don't knock masturbation. Masturbation is sex with somebody I love.' - Woody Allen

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The young woman was obviously very much in love. She was in an expensive jewellery shop with her fiancé, looking at engagement rings. ‘Are you sure it’s alright, darling? I know which one I want, but it’s very expensive.’ He looked at her adoringly. ‘No ring is too expensive for the love of my life. Choose away.’

So of course she chose away. Her boyfriend could not resist her enthusiasm. When she had made up her mind, he looked apologetically at the shop manager, who knew a good thing when he saw it and was serving them personally. ‘I say, old man, I’m terribly sorry, but I don’t carry that sort of cash on me (this is a very old joke, so of course there is no such thing as a credit card). But I’m sure you’ll accept a personal cheque.’

‘Of course, Sir. No problem at all. But I do hope you understand that I won’t be able to release the ring until your cheque has cleared. ‘Oh, are you sure? My fiancée will be so disappointed at having to wait.’ The girl does look disappointed, but she smiles at her boyfriend and tells him she is happy to wait for a few days.

‘I tell you what, darling. I’ll make things up to you. Let’s go away to this lovely romantic hotel I know in the country.’ So off they go, arranging for the young man to pick up the ring in a few days.

About a week later, the young man walks back into the shop. The manager looks at him. ‘I’m terribly sorry, Sir. There appears to have been a small problem with your cheque.’ The young man looks at him and smiles. ‘Oh that’s ok, I knew it would bounce a mile high. I just came in to thank you for the best weekend of my life.’

Of course, as a man I love women. Nearly all of them. That means that I see their little habits as merely endearing them even more to me. Far be it from me to actually be IRRITATED by the darlings. The battle of the sexes is merely a myth, a gentle source of humour amidst the daily celebration of the differences between men and women. You won't believe this, but occasionally the sexes have been known to not get on like a house on fire. See, I told you that you wouldn't believe it. So as evidence I quote the British Newspaper the Daily Mail. I think you will enjoy this article.

Ten things I HATE about you

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