Dating is a Numbers Game

'A man isn't complete until he's married. Then he's finished.'

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All around the land I hear single people bemoaning the fact that they can’t seem to meet anybody. It is indeed difficult to meet people if you stay indoors watching TV and masturbating at the thought of having sex with a wonderful new lover. The secret is to stop playing with yourself and get out there in the trenches. I am single at the moment but at least I am doing something about it. I have spoken to a new lady every day for the last seven weeks. I haven’t found me a suitable girlfriend yet, but I have had sex with two of them. Not bad for an ageing, overweight, vertically challenged (short) Sex God who has seen better days.

I can remember the first time I asked a girl for a date. I was totally hopeless. I watched her for weeks, knowing that she was THE one. She was attractive, gorgeous, sexy, had a great personality and a great sense of humour. It took me ages to get up the courage to talk to her, and when I did she could obviously smell my desperation. She brushed me off politely and kindly. I wanted the ground to swallow me up. I wanted to hide away in a darkened room for the rest of my life.

But when I thought about it, I came to a decision. I was a virgin, and I didn’t want to be. I wanted to have sex with a nice girl. I didn’t care who. I decided that the only way was to try again. So I turned the whole thing into a numbers game. I determined to talk to one new girl every day, and just see what happened. And the process of talking to that one new girl every day took all the pressure off.

I kept a list of the girls I approached, what I said to them, and the result. I didn’t care about being rejected, I just told myself that if I added one new name every day, then after a year I would have met 365 girls and there was no way I would still be a virgin. And I was right. I won’t bore you with the details, but the more I did it the better I got. After about six months, I had a regular girlfriend, had already slept with two other girls, and had made some nice new friends.

When you make dating a numbers game, you have options. I had a situation a few years ago, before I met my last girlfriend, where I had six different ladies on the go. They were all playing hard to get. One thing I cannot stand is a lady playing hard to get. I sent them all an email, telling them that if they didn’t get their act together I would move on to pastures new. Four of them didn’t reply and never spoke to me again, one rang me up and we had sex that night. Number six rang me the day after, I had sex with her that night. And even if none of them had ever spoken to me again, it wouldn’t have mattered, because I knew I could easily replace all of them.

Please understand me when I say that I am not boasting. There is nothing special about me. If you talk to one new attractive person this year, you are unlikely to get very far. Talk to 365 and you are bound to be successful.

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Once we have found ‘the one’, we live happily ever after of course. I wish it were that easy. My longest relationship lasted seven years, not very long at all in the course of things. Most relationships end in sorrow, separation and divorce. But it doesn’t have to be like that at all. We all look for ways to make our relationships better and lasting. One couple in the United Kingdom have obviously got it right, because they have been together now for seventy-eight years. Not bad. I saw this article in the Daily Mail and thought it would be a good idea to share it with you.

Daily Mail Article

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