Think Like The Enemy
Planning The Ultimate Revenge
I don't know about revenge. That's treading on some dangerous terrain when it comes to women, who can come up with the most insidious acts of revenge. Our male minds cannot even begin to comprehend a woman's mind at the best of times and it would be folly to roll that dice, and risk unleashing a beast.
But if we were to try, I believe the best way to deal with a women, is to think and act like them. Take away their ability to mess with your head. That would be the best revenge!
First I would dismiss all remnants of rational thought from my mind.
Next I would learn how to blow things up. By things I mean issues .... teeny, weeny, issues. Minor issues, like the way the toilet roll faces for example. I would start with little little things like that and see how big I can make them.
Then I would learn how to inappropriately use literal terms in an accusing manner to express how I'm feeling.
While I'm at it I would master the trademark skill of the twist - that female ability to somehow flummox the male mind when the conversation is not going her way, and twist everything around ... leaving us in a non-responsive catatonic state.
Finally I would learn how to sulk and hold a grudge for no apparent reason.
Yeah, that's the ticket.
Once I have mastered these womanly skills, only then would the playing field be level. But by then the relationship would probably be better than ever... so maybe that would be my revenge.