Battle of the sexes jokes are the last recourse of the poor downtrodden male. When all else fails, it is time to have a laugh. No point crying over spilt milk. If your get-up-and-go has got up and gone, if the only thing you can pull nowadays is a ligament, if you have been dumped by the love of your life, if your ex has taken revenge on you by superglueing your BMW to your driveway, if your mother has just caught you masturbating and you are 54, if you came home drunk and urinated all over your daughter in her bed instead of finding the bathroom (and she was having sex with her boyfriend at the time)………
Get it? There is nothing so bad that a sense of humour and a few battle of the sexes jokes won’t help. This is the place to be when you want to laugh. We really shouldn’t take life too seriously. What’s the point? Whatever we do, we poor downtrodden men are going to lose the battle of the sexes. Jokes just make the pain go away for a while. Laughter is the best medicine, so please don’t resist, just take your medicine like a good boy.
Unless, of course, you are not a boy at all. Believe it or not, ladies read these pages as well. I think it is because they are gathering up even more information to use against us men. As if they didn’t know that with their sexual equipment they win the battle of the sexes every time. According to you ladies, we men are jokes anyway. I see the way you look at me when I strut my stuff as a Sex God and the greatest lover since Casanova. Most of you are overcome by lust, of course, but some of you seem to be capable of withstanding my charms, and some of you have even been known to snigger behind your hands. What is all that about anyway? Don’t you know, ladies, that you are funny too? I’m sure there are going to be jokes here about dumb blondes. Of course, all blondes are dumb. They don’t seem to realise that the hair on their head should be the same colour as the hair further down. It’s always a dead giveaway when you unwrap a blonde.
I suppose I had better publish a health warning here. You need a sense of humour to read my battle of the sexes jokes, and you need to be broadminded. No point coming here if you are prim and proper, or so far up your own ass you come out the other end. Normally I would apologise for offending people, but I make an exception for people with no sense of humour. They deserve everything they get.
So on the following pages there will be jokes about men, jokes about women, jokes about sex, jokes about dumb blondes, jokes about lightbulbs, jokes about all sorts of things, but all related to the battle of the sexes in some way. I hope you enjoy them and that they make you laugh. You will also have the opportunity on every page to add your own contributions. I am going to be very fussy though about what jokes I accept. They have to make me laugh, and if I have heard them before they are out.