Worst Day Ever


'Show me a man who says he understands women, and I'll show you a fool.' Anon

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Dave asks Barry to help him with his car after work. Barry drives them home and expects them to head straight for the garage, but Dave insists on going inside first. Barry sees him go up to his wife, kiss her lovingly on her mouth, tell her how much he loves her, how much he has missed her while he’s been at work.

They go out to the garage and work on Dave’s car for a couple of hours. Then they go back inside to have the dinner Dave’s wife has prepared. After the meal, Dave thanks his wife profusely, tells her how much he loves her, compliments her on her cooking and tells her how lucky he feels to have such a beautiful, sexy wife who is also the best cook in the universe.

They go back into the garage to finish the car. While there, Barry mentions how surprised he is to find that his friend pays so much attention to his wife (not mentioning, of course, that she is actually quite plain, and the food was nothing to write home about).

Dave explains that his marriage hadn’t been going well and they had been on the point of divorce. Then he had confided in a friend, and the friend had recommended that he should change his ways and be more loving and attentive. It had worked like a dream. His wife was now his best friend and their sex life was fantastic.

Barry drives home, thinking about what his friend has said. His marriage could certainly do with some work, he thinks. So when he gets in, he goes up to his wife and kisses her lovingly. He looks at her and tells her how much she means to him and how much he loves her. She immediately bursts into tears.

Barry is confused. He certainly isn’t expecting that sort of reaction. He asks his wife what is wrong. Between her sobs, she manages to say, ‘This is the worst day ever. First little John fell off his bike and I had to take him to hospital. Then some bastard scraped my car while we were in there. Then the washing machine broke and I spent all afternoon sorting out the flood in the kitchen. And now you come home drunk.’

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Some demented female dared to suggest to me the other day that 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus' is a load of rubbish. I offer this link as proof incontrovertible that she is wrong. Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus - The Proof

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