Self Esteem


'What have you got when you have a hundred men buried to their neck in sand? Not enough sand.'

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I have discussed the issue of self-esteem before in one of these newsletters, but it is a topic I will never tire of bringing up, and I make no apology for doing so again. I was reminded of this just the other day when I was talking to a female friend, who, because I am totally discreet, will remain anonymous. So let’s call her Rowena. Rowena is one of the most attractive ladies I have ever met. She is beautiful, but also has a great personality and always makes me laugh. She is charismatic and has a successful career.

But my friend Rowena is also 50 this year, and has never married. She was moaning about her sex life. Apparently she can’t get a boyfriend, is hopeless at love, and hasn’t had sex in over two years. Now, I know what you will say. As a Sex God, I should offer my assistance, but some things are more important than sex – did you believe that I, being the greatest lover since Casanova, would ever say something like that? But I am also her friend, and sex should never get in the way of a friendship. She is my friend because she feels ‘safe’ with me, and I would never do anything to compromise her safety or our friendship.

The problem is quite simple. Despite being talented, successful, beautiful, funny, and great company, Rowena does not believe she is worthy of being loved. She has great self-esteem in every area except this one. I believe this is quite an unusual situation, as self-esteem is not usually compartmentalised in this way. Subconsciously, she does everything she can to ruin relationships with men. She doesn’t realise she is doing it, she just does it. She has the quickest, sharpest tongue of any person I have ever met. She is so clever it hurts. And as soon as a man begins to get close to her, she cuts him to pieces with her sarcasm and criticism until he simply runs a mile.

The solution to this problem is actually very simple. She needs to listen to what she is saying and work on her self-esteem. Now that is a very simple thing to do, but it is not easy. I have given her some tips on the subject, and also given her a few books to read. We must wait to see what happens. I think she is determined to sort out the problem, so I have high hopes for her. It just goes to show that the way to get the man, or the girl, starts not with attraction, or personality, but simply with the belief that you are worthy of being loved.

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Does age matter when you have sex? I am 55 and as far as I know I have never had sex with a lady over the age of 50. I don’t know why, it certainly isn’t a choice, it is something that just happened (or rather didn’t happen). Personally, I don’t think it matters, but it obviously matters to some. This article from the Daily Mail discusses the issue from the point of view of a 51 year-old lady who had sex with a 27 year-old waiter Sex with a younger man

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Wedding Jokes
Revenge Sex
My name is Charles Evans, I can be contacted at

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