Brain Transplant


'How does a man keep his youth? By giving her diamonds, money and expensive shoes.'

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A man is taken to hospital, gravely ill. As his family sit anxiously in the waiting room, desperate to hear the news, the doctor comes to talk to them. He talks to the man’s wife. ‘I’m terribly sorry but your husband is brain dead. Fortunately, there is something we can do for him. It’s an experimental procedure, and very risky, but we can give him a brain transplant. The only problem is that you will have to buy the brain.’

The family fall silent for a time, then the man’s daughter timidly asks, ‘How much would a brain cost?’ The doctor informs her that they have two brains available. One belongs to a woman, the other is from a man. Both have died the same day in the hospital. The woman’s brain costs $500, the man’s brain costs $50,000. This amuses the man’s son, and he smiles for a moment before the enormity of the situation dawns on him. The room falls silent again.

Eventually the daughter voices the question they have all been pondering. ‘Why is the woman’s brain $500 but the man’s $50,000?’

The doctor smiles to himself, reflecting that the young lady is not experienced in the ways of the world. ‘Oh, that is very simple,’ the doctor replies. ‘The man’s brain has never been used.’

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All is not well with men in this world. As an Englishman, I have often wondered about men in Australia. Just look at the way they play cricket. Now, on a day where not very much has happened in the world, the Reuters News Agency is reporting on a sex survey of Australian men. It just goes to show I was right to worry about them. Australian Men want Less Sex

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